18. May 2026

Manners Cost Nothing. Apparently

I was brought up to say please and thank you.

Not because I was trying to win a medal. Not because I was auditioning for Downton Abbey. Just because that’s what you did. You asked properly, you said thank you, you held doors open, you didn’t grunt at people like you’d been raised by badgers.

It was basic stuff.

Somewhere along the line, though, manners seem to have become optional. Like indicating at roundabouts, replying to messages, or putting your shopping trolley back instead of abandoning it diagonally in a parking space like a tiny metal monument to laziness.

And before anyone starts, no, I’m not saying every young person is rude. They’re not. There are plenty of polite kids, teenagers and younger adults out there who are perfectly decent. But there’s also a growing number who seem to have been raised in a world where “please” and “thank you” are ancient phrases from the olden days, like “wireless”, “video shop” and “I’ll just check the Yellow Pages”.

The other day, I was in a bar during the day. Two kids, probably around eight and ten, came up to the counter with their mum’s card. They wanted crisps and chocolate.

Actually, no. They didn’t want them.

They announced them.

“I want this and that.”

No please. No asking. No looking at the person serving them like they were another human being. Just a small shopping list delivered with all the charm of a parking fine.

They got what they wanted, paid with the card, then walked off.

No thank you.

Nothing.

Not even a half-hearted nod. Just off they went, probably to go and stare at an iPad while their mum told someone how independent they are.

Now, I’m not blaming the kids completely. At eight and ten, you’re still learning how the world works. You’re basically a small person with snack demands and limited emotional regulation. But that’s where parenting comes in.

Or at least, it used to.

At some point, a parent should probably say, “What do you say?” Or, even better, teach them before they’re sent to the bar like tiny unpaid interns with contactless payment.

But a lot of kids now seem to be wrapped in cotton wool so tightly they’re basically little human sausage rolls. They’re allowed to do what they want, say what they want, act how they want, and heaven forbid anyone tells them off. You can’t correct them, because apparently that damages their confidence.

No, it doesn’t.

It teaches them that the person serving them isn’t a vending machine with legs.

There’s a difference.

And it’s not just kids. That’s the annoying bit. If it was only children, you could at least hope they might grow out of it. But then you see people in their twenties and thirties doing the same thing.

Cutting in.

Walking straight in front of people.

Standing in doorways like they’re guarding the entrance to Narnia.

Looking someone up and down like they’ve just caught them trying to steal their trainers.

No “excuse me”. No “sorry”. No awareness that other people exist.

Just main character syndrome, everywhere you look.

You see it in shops, in pubs, on pavements, at events. People pushing through, waving phones about, filming everything, posting every second for likes as if the rest of us are just background extras in their deeply average documentary.

And then there are groups of kids hanging around streets, acting hard in coats their parents probably bought, shouting abuse, filming strangers, giving attitude to anyone who dares look in their general direction.

Again, not all of them.

But enough.

Enough to notice.

So what is it? Is it a culture thing? A parenting thing? A social media thing? Probably a horrible little cocktail of all three.

Social media has made attention more important than respect. Parenting, in some cases, has moved from guidance to negotiation. And culture has become so obsessed with confidence that it sometimes forgets character.

Because manners are not about being posh. They’re not about being old-fashioned. They’re not about walking around like you’re wearing a waistcoat and carrying a pocket watch.

They’re about respect.

That’s it.

Saying please doesn’t make you weak.

Saying thank you doesn’t ruin your street credibility.

Holding a door open doesn’t mean you’ve surrendered your personality.

And saying sorry when you walk into someone isn’t some dramatic admission of legal liability. It just means you’re not a selfish lump.

The strange thing is, manners are so easy. They cost nothing. No subscription. No app. No update required. You don’t need a course, a webinar or a TikTok tutorial from someone called Jayden who describes himself as a lifestyle disruptor.

You just need to not be rude.

That’s the bar.

And somehow, for some people, it’s still too high.

Maybe I’m turning into the bloke in the pub complaining about “kids today”. Fine. I’ll take that. Pull me a pint and I’ll continue.

But I still think please and thank you matter.

I still think children should be taught to speak properly to people.

I still think adults should know better.

And I still think the world would be a slightly less irritating place if more people remembered one very simple thing:

You are not the only person in the room.

Even if your phone camera seems to think otherwise.